Unlocking Attraction | 5 Keys to Attracting the Right One

September 14, 2023 Pastor: Ryan Rice Series: The Book Of Love

Topic: Love Scripture: Song of Solomon 1:1– 2:7


Song of Songs 1:1-2:7, NIV 



1. Physical Attraction  

2. Spiritual Attraction  

3. Emotional Attraction 

4. Relational Attraction  

5. Recreational Attraction 












Ice Breaker:  Attraction can be understood as the powerful force that ignites interest and brings people closer to one another. Please take a moment to share a memorable or amusing story or example related to attraction. This can be an experience you've personally encountered or something you've observed in others. 


  1. Which aspects of attraction (physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, or recreational) do you consider most important in a partner? How has this perspective evolved or remained consistent over time? Consider Song of Songs 1-2 for inspiration and direction and review the list Pastor Ryan covered in his sermon. 
  • Physical Attraction: The appeal and chemistry between individuals based on their physical appearance and presence. 


  • Spiritual Attraction: The deep connection and compatibility between individuals in terms of shared faith, values, and beliefs.


  • Emotional Attraction: The strong emotional bond, understanding, and intimacy between individuals that go beyond physical attraction.


  • Relational Attraction: The attraction that arises from positive interactions, trust, respect, and the quality of the relationship between individuals, not only with the couple in a relationship but also with the friends each of them have.  


  • Recreational Attraction: The attraction stems from shared interests, activities, and hobbies that individuals enjoy doing together, contributing to a deeper connection. 


  1. Share an example of a time when you experienced a strong emotional attraction in a relationship (for singles) or with your spouse (for married couples). How did it impact the relationship, and how can we cultivate healthy emotional connections in our relationships? (Consider Song of Songs 2:3-4 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) 


  1. How can we build and prioritize spiritual attraction in our relationships, whether we are single or married? Are there any biblical principles or examples that guide us in nurturing this aspect? (Consider 2 Corinthians 6:14, Matthew 19:6, Song of Song 5:16) 
  1. Describe a situation where relational attraction played a significant role in a relationship, either positively or negatively. How can we foster strong relational attraction in our interactions with others, whether in dating or marriage? Why are good and godly friends so important? (Consider Proverbs 17:17 and Proverbs 27:17, NIV) 


  1. Discuss the importance of recreational attraction in forming and maintaining relationships. How can shared interests and activities contribute to a deeper connection, whether you are single or married? (Consider Ecclesiastes 3:12-13) 


  1. Many people in our church are single. How can singles focus on personal growth and preparation for future relationships while embracing their current season of singleness, considering the various aspects of attraction? (Consider 1 Corinthians 7:32-35) 


  1. What biblical wisdom can guide single individuals in navigating their desire for a future partner and remaining content in their singleness while considering physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, and recreational aspects? (Consider Psalm 37:4 and 1 Timothy 6:6, Philippians 4:11-13)  


  1. Let’s discuss and share practical ways to maintain a healthy balance between the different aspects of attraction in various relationship statuses while keeping God at the center is essential. How can we encourage and support each other in our unique journeys? 


Note to leader:   

  • Conclude the gathering with a prayer, asking for God's guidance in applying the insights gained from the Scripture. 
  • Encourage everyone to actively participate in the group's activities. Emphasize the importance of offering assistance, such as organizing meals, extending invitations to others, staying in touch through phone calls, texts and praying for one another. Stress that, as members of God's family, you are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Additionally, encourage if you have space to consider inviting others into the family of believers into the Community Group!