A Guide to Deepening Your Marriage | 5 Proven Practices for The Happily Ever After

Lead/Founding Pastor: Ryan Rice

Thursday, November 2nd, 2023

Sunday, November 5th, 2023

THE PASSAGE

Song of Songs 6:13-8:4, NIV 

FIVE PROVEN PRACTICES FOR THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

• BE EXPRESSIVE (7:7-7:9)

• BE DEVOTED (7:10)

• BE INTENTIONAL (7:11)

• BE ROMANTIC (7:12-7:13)

• BE AFFECTIONATE (8:1-3)

TALK IT OVER

Icebreaker 

Ask each participant to share a memorable or meaningful moment that made them feel deeply appreciated or loved.

Pastor Ryan taught through the song of songs this last week on the subject of deepening marriage. He mentioned Five proven practices for a happily ever after! While these are essential in marriage, they're also very helpful in other relationships. Take some time to discuss and look up some of the corresponding scriptures on applying these to your marriage.

1. Be Expressive: 

• What does "expressive" mean in the context of a relationship? How can genuine communication foster a more profound connection? (Ephesians 4:15, James 1:19)

• How do you express your feelings and thoughts to your spouse or significant other? 

• As Pastor Ryan mentioned at the beginning of his sermon, how expressive Solomon was in describing the beauty of his wife. (7:7-7:9) Why do you think it's so essential for a woman to hear how beautiful she is? How many times a day do you ladies think about your visual appearance? 

• Why do you think it's essential for a husband to affirm his wife and her beauty? 

• Beauty is not just on the outside; it's on the inside of the individual. What does that look like according to I Peter 3:3-4?

2. Be Devoted: 

• In Song of Songs 7:10, the Shulammite woman is described as "devoted." How does devotion impact a relationship? (Ephesians 5:25)

• What are some practical ways to show devotion to a spouse or, for single individuals, to demonstrate commitment in a relationship? (I Peter 4:10, Philippians 2:4)

• What does the Bible say about the permeance of marriage? Why is being devoted to one another essential to deepen a marriage? (Matthew 19:5-6, Mark 10:9, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Hebrews 13:4)

3. Be Intentional:

• Discuss the concept of intentionality in a relationship. How can being purposeful and deliberate strengthen the relationship? (Proverbs 16:3)

• What intentional steps do you take to nurture or establish a meaningful relationship or marriage? (Proverbs 19:21)

4. Be Romantic:

• How can married couples keep the romance alive in their relationship? (NOTE TO LEADER: You may or may not want to read a few passages about Sexual intimacy from Song of Songs 7:12-13 and 2 Corinthians 7:5? It could make for a hot topic! 

• How does the Bible describe a perfect picture of love? (Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

• In what ways do small acts of romance positively impact a relationship? What’s a personal example?

 It's essential to understand how the other person experiences love and feels love if you want to excel in deepening the relationship.

The Five Love Languages is a concept introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages." It outlines five primary ways people express and experience love. They are:

1. Words of Affirmation: Love is expressed through verbal affirmations, compliments, and encouragement, emphasizing the power of spoken affection.

2. Acts of Service: Love is shown through actions and gestures that help and support your partner, such as doing chores, running errands, or assisting in practical ways.

3. Receiving Gifts: Love is communicated through giving and receiving thoughtful and meaningful gifts, representing care and appreciation.

4. Quality Time: Love is felt by spending undivided attention with your partner, engaging in meaningful conversations, and enjoying shared experiences.

5. Physical Touch: Love is conveyed through physical affection, like hugs, kisses, holding hands, and other forms of touch that promote intimacy and connection.

Each person tends to have a primary love language that resonates with them the most, and understanding these languages helps partners communicate and express love more effectively in relationships. 

• Which one is yours? Take a minute to share some examples of how you feel loved when you receive this kind of attention. 

5. Be Affectionate:

• Song of Songs 8:1-3 speaks of affection. Within the specific context of this passage, physical displays of affection were inappropriate between a husband and a wife. However, it was not wrong between family members. How does physical love deepen emotional connection within a relationship? 

• What are some small ways that your spouse can show affection in public that you would appreciate? 

• How can singles express affection in a relationship context, and what boundaries are important to consider? (Matthew 5:8, Song of Songs 8:4, Matthew 5:28, Proverbs 4:23)

In Closing: Encourage the group to come together in prayer, asking for guidance, strength, and wisdom in implementing these practices in their relationships, whether married or single, seeking God's blessing for lasting and fulfilling relationships. As well, ask the couples to review these five practices with their spouse in private and take some steps to improve their marriages.