Don't Complete, Complement!

respectful wife

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.

2 Peter 1:3


Many times we’ve heard the phrase in our culture “You complete me” (from the movie Jerry McGuire). Jerry says, “I love you. You... complete me.” Dorothy responds and says, “Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at ‘hello’.”

The lie has been perpetuated for decades now, this idea that a man or a woman is incomplete unless they find their lover, their spouse. The Bible teaches that as Christians we are complete in Christ. We have everything we need to live a life of Godliness. We’ve been given eternal life, resurrection power from Christ to overcome the power of sin, and the Holy Spirit to lead us to a greater level of holiness. The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 1:3, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing.”

We have everything we need as a Christian. We don’t have to be married to be complete. Jesus completes us. If the wife or the husband tries to complete their spouse, they are stepping into the role of God. Because both spouses are operating and called to operate in God-like roles, they can easily try to be God and want to be worshiped. For example, the wife is called the Helper. That’s the same title given to the Holy Spirit. She in many ways is to operate in a way that the Holy Spirit operates: helping, assisting, comforting, revealing, supporting, etc. The husband as well is called to be like Jesus. He is to love his wife and give his life up for her. Many times in marriage, a spouse can get a messiah complex, where they think they need to save their spouse, and in doing so they are trying to be God.

The greatest thing a wife can do for her husband is to encourage him to worship Jesus! Spend time in God’s word and prayer, and encourage him to spend time with other believers and reach out to others who don’t know Jesus.

Additionally, the husband needs to encourage his wife to worship Jesus too. The more she does, the more beautiful she becomes. Her greatest needs are fulfilled in God rather than in you.   

The role of the wife and the husband is to live and operate in a complementary relationship. This cultivates an environment that’s not filled with competition, or with seeking to try to complete one another, but in one that seeks to complement one another. It’s an environment that celebrates differences while maintains unity. Marriage is a mystery. God has designed it to reflect the gospel. It’s supposed to be the good news, not good works. Next week we will learn the difference.